Playing Roger Says

Over the weekend I bleached out the old fish tank, cleaned it up, and packed it up to bring into work.  I figured I would set it up; the gurgling would be soothing and nice whether I got a new fish soon or not. 

Then on Sunday I attended my book club (where we petted sweet beagles, ate a ton of food, and did not really discuss The Secret History of the Pink Carnation) and told them the story of Inari’s ultimate demise.  One woman immediately got excited and asked if I was planning to get another fish soon.  Before I could answer, she launched into the story of her friend she visited the night before who had a betta that needed a new home.  Previous residing in a 30 gallon tank with some angel fish, he was currently residing with but one angel fish as he had killed the rest. 

So of course I said I would be more than happy to take this hapless fish who was clearly not getting the care or living environment he needed.  I was informed that he was bright red, very speedy, and his name was Rocket.

Rocket, awesome!

I went home that afternoon to tell the Boy all about it.  “Fish named Rocket!”  “Speedy!”  “Chases the other fish!”  “He’s going to be so badass!”

Later that evening my friend called me back to say a) her friends were delighted I was willing to take their fish and b) his name is Roger.

Roger?  That’s kind of..  lame. 

So on Monday I set up my tank at work.  Tuesday evening my friend and I went on a serious fish rescue mission (right after I finished a delicious tilapia dinner.  so logical).  It turned out the reason the fish was in the inappropriate tank was that some GENIUS preschool teacher had decided to give all her students betta fish.  This family has three girls in preschool, thus, three fish.  They also have three cats, so after two fish bit it, they figured the third would be better off with the angel fish than on the counter.  Not so for the angel fish.  Let that be a lesson, preschool teachers, give them pencils, not living creatures!

Roger, as it turns out, is anything but lame.  I would go so far as to say, without hesitation, that Roger is a badass.  He’s a brilliant dark red, and the expression on his face means business.  Also, he’s fully twice the size Inari ever was. 

I’m seriously considering getting him a larger tank.  In the meantime, Roger has taken to bossing my office around.  My co-workers have been bring me fresh coffee and such because Roger says.  You never wanna mess with the office badass.