I'm having some.. problems. With food. They're not eating disorder problems, no, but they are problems that are resulting in my not eating.
Problem the First. Last night I went to the grocery store to stock up on fresh produce to complement the huge bag of fresh salad greens my father gave me (yay garden!). Part of this purchase was to be a pint of cherry tomatoes. And since I love them so much and put them in everything and even eat them by themselves, I upped it to two.
I got home and had.. no cherry tomatoes. None. Nada. Gone. I paid for them, but they did not leave the Harris Teeter with me. I blame the bagger.
So that was irritating. Especially so since I have class for 6 hours tonight and all I was planning to bring along for dinner was a hefty salad. My salad just got a little less hefty. But I still figured, no worries, as I knew I had a couple cherry tomatoes leftover in the work fridge from lunch last week. I planned to add those, salad is complete.
Problem the Second. The work fridge was cleaned out over the weekend. My leftover tomatoes are gone. Additionally, my not leftover, perfectly viable, I was planning to eat it for breakfast! container of yogurt is gone. Expensive organic yogurt motherfucker. Why?
Then I got a little panicky and concerned for my pudding pops (I did not consume them all in 24 hours). Thankfully, when I checked the freezer, they were still there. However…
Problem the Third. The fake bacon is still there. This fake bacon, oh my lord. It has been in the freezer in my office for several months. I would venture to say five. And it's not a small amount of fake bacon. It is SIXTEEN packages of frozen fake bacon (MorningStar brand).
It honestly defies all logic. Why would someone stockpile fake bacon? Have you ever had fake bacon? One might think it would be delicious. Bacon is delicious. MorningStar fake mini corn dogs are delicious. Why not fake bacon?
Just trust me. Not fake bacon.
So the fake bacon is really getting on my last nerve anyways, because.. ew. It's ew, I tell you. Then I notice…
Problem the Fourth. My pudding pops are getting mushy in the freezer. They aren't cold enough. And I'm pretty sure that's because there are sixteen packages of fake bacon disrupting the air flow in there. A fact that really wouldn't have me so up in arms if the fricking bagger at HT had just put my goddamn tomatoes in my goddamn grocery bag.
Welcome to Monday. I have such high hopes for a lovely week full of well-balanced nutrition and sunshine and happiness.
I’m sorry about your missing food. That sucks. I used to work in a big office, and people would just randomly steal my food, even though I had written AMY on it in Sharpie.
And once? someone in my office had a tub of cookie dough that she was taking home for her kids, and when she got it home and opened it, someone had sampled it – and very clearly in the dough were two long finger-shaped scrapes. So not only had the creepy evil person sampled food that was not their own, they had used their fingers.
Ewwwwww
um, so I’m sorry about your tomatoes, and I hope that you don’t starve tonight.
Be proud to eat meat.
http://www.cafepress.com/antivegetarian